Backstory:
Me and my dad ,for the last few months, have had four exhausting and long arguments. This has ended up turning our father-daughter relationship into a I'm not sure if you even want me here relationship. We haven't had a decent conversation in awhile....
Yesterday I quit/got fired from my job. My dad got me this job. I'm really ungrateful. I walked out in the middle of the day. I am a total bitch. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. This causes me to be way over emotional. I would probably have a panic attack if my hair messed up.... It's that bad. I couldn't tell you why I left. I couldn't even try to explain why I left, because I don't know.
So I was searching the interwebs for answers to all of my questions and I stumbled across this guys personal blog. He had a very good idea. He talked about five things to ask yourself during a conflict. I struggle with communication big time. I can't explain what I want to say ever. You could ask me how my day was ,and I would be like x=y(89i-56j)€¥£!€¥. I don't know what communication means to people. I know it helps us as humans to herd... But why does it matter if we herd??...
I Call This: Communication Management.
In this guys blog he has five questions that I can actually answer! Dad these are answers I an ask myself in order to give you the straight answer. So, I'm going to answer them here in this blog anytime we get into an argument. Maybe we can get past this void. I'm willing to try anything.
Here they are:
1. Do I actually disagree with what the other person is saying?
No. Dad I agree. I need to get my shit together and do something with my life. What will I do? Your guess is as good as mine. I want to do a lot of things. I know that I have to take little steps. It's just hard to take baby steps when you want to be able to leap and keep going.
2. Can I fairly articulate the other person's point of view?
Uggghhhh... No I can't. I'm not you. I'm not in your shoes. I'm not a dad to an 18 rebel. I would have probably done kicked my own ass. I want to be able to articulate by the end of these questions. So that's my goal right now.
3. Did I make myself clear?
I really didn't. I couldn't tell you why I left. I couldn't tell you anything hardly. You are telling me the truth. I don't know if I just can't handle it or if I just don't want to believe it.
4. Would I be comfortable saying what I'm saying to the other person in front of a group?
Yesterday? No Today? No. In the rest of my lifetime? No. I don't think it appropriate to discuss your problems in public. It causes a scene. Which embarrasses both of us and just makes us more angry.
5. What would happen if I lost?
Who cares? If I lose, I lose. But if I lost that means we have come to a conclusion. That's all I want. An answer to the problem. What's the problem? Me and my communication.
Next Step: Apologize
Daddy,
I want to apologize for having you stay up all those nights worrying when I didn't come home. I'm sorry for saying all of the rude things I said over the phone yesterday afternoon. I'm sorry for never giving you a reason not to worry. I'm sorry for walking away from our arguments. If I wouldn't have walked away so many times we would have this solved. I apologize for putting you in a bad situation at work. I'm sorry for running away from my problems. It's a scary thought to face the world. But you were right there the whole time. Telling me basically that I didn't have to face it alone. I love you so much daddy. I'm sorry I've put you through so much hell. I don't know if this will help, but we have to start somewhere.
--Love Tanith
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